How to leave a cult and rebuild your life
It is never simple to leave a cult; from family , to community pressure passing by the limiting beliefs you have been fed interfering with your inner voice. Cults frequently have a strong hold on their members, making it difficult for them to break out. The process of leaving a cult is filled with emotional, psychological, and occasionally bodily difficulties. We will present a detailed advice on how to quit a cult and rebuild your life in this article. We'll be inspired by the methods given in the source "People Leave Cults," while also adding insights from Natalie Feinblatt, PsyD's "How to Leave a Cult."
1. Recognise Your Situation
It is critical to examine your circumstance before taking any action.
Understand that becoming a member of a cult does not lessen your worth or intelligence. Cult participation can occur for a variety of reasons, including being born into a group, wanting a sense of purpose, or being trapped into coercive practises that seemed harmless on the surface. The crucial question is whether your participation is harmful to yourself or others on any level- physical, mental or emotional. Spirituality and religion are often instrumentalised by group to manipulate individuals and capture their ressources; financials or humans gifts- in the hope to serve the movement interest while prioritising the reputation of the groups above individuals wellbeing. To further comprehend your condition, look into thought reform, coercive control, and spiritual abuse. Remember that there is no set timetable for recuperation.
Resources:
The Cult Education Institute (culteducation.com) has a plethora of knowledge regarding cults and mind control.
To understand the psychological characteristics of cults, read "Cults in Our Midst" by Margaret Thaler Singer.
2. Determine Whether Now Is a Good Time to Leave
Timing is everything. Leaving a cult necessitates meticulous planning, especially if your departure may jeopardise your responsibilities, safety or access to critical resources. Take a look at the following:
Can you sustain yourself and your dependents financially once you leave?
Are you ready for any response from the group? (Threats, search, reputation destruction, public shaming, humiliation, guilt tactics)
Understand "PIMO" (Physically In, Mentally Out) and "FOMO" (Fear of Missing Out). During the leaving process, cult members are frequently affected by these conflicting feelings.
When I left my family cult at 17 years old, I experienced all sort of feelings but the conviction that I did the right thing for my sanity was worth all obstacles encoutered on my personal journey to freedom. I had no confidence and very little self-power and my family tried to destroy my hope in order to discourage me so I would eventually go back home. Something that I say often is that there is a difference between leaving physically and leaving mentally; years of conditioning based on shame and fear, making me dependent in a way or another toward the community and the beliefs that they were entitled to my time or energy was challenging to rewire but eventually my mindset shifted; I reclaimed my personal power and freedom by breaking away from my family cult even though it was all I knew since birth.
Seek advice from mental health specialists or cult exit counsellors to choose the best moment to quit.
3. Make or find a landing pad
When you go, make sure you have a safe place to remain. This may entail staying with family, friends, or even in shelters. Concentrate on the following essentials:
A safe place to live, sleep, and socialise.
Food, water, and medication are all available.
A strategy for obtaining work or financial assistance.
Maintaining contacts with people outside the cult is critical, but be wary about revealing your tale too openly. Not everyone needs to know that you intend to start your life over; Find trustworthy people that understand how sensitive your situation is.
Resources:
For immediate assistance, contact local shelters or crisis centres.
Seek assistance from the American Red Cross or other comparable organisations.
4. Leave
When you've reviewed your circumstances and concluded it's time to go, do the following steps:
Pack a bag with essentials for a fast escape.
If you're in a regulated setting, look for a way out.
To remove yourself, stop attending cult meetings or services.
Remember to document everything, especially if you anticipate difficult situations, and to keep safe.
Resources:
Contact local emergency authorities if you are in urgent danger.
Contact organisations that specialise in cult survivors, such as the Freedom of Mind Resource Centre.
5. Rebuild and Recover
Surviving a cult is a difficult experience, and healing is a critical step.
Prioritise fundamental necessities such as food, shelter, and security. Seek counselling, gain emotional coping skills, and think about reeducation and personal development.
Examine any trauma or abuse you may have suffered while in the cult, and don't be afraid to seek help from support groups or mental health specialists. There might be a lot to process so be patient with yourself. It might be over ongoing years that you discover that you never agreed with what you have been taught. You might pass through different phases, including denial, anger and grief as your rebuild your personal identity and life around who you really are.
Keep in mind that healing is a process and that self-discovery takes time. It's normal to have doubts and conflicting emotions, so be gentle with yourself.
Resources:
Find cult recovery therapists or support groups in your area.
For more information, consult the International Cultic Studies Association (ICSA).
6. Live
The final step is to reintegrate into mainstream society. Concentrate on your well-being, establish healthy boundaries, and make decisions that reflect your values.
Maintain contact with people outside the cult and create a new support network. However, you should be prepared for cult members to reject you as you are now refusing to submit to the same level of manipulations than the one they are dedicating their life to. Go where you are welcomed, celebrated, respected and ultimately safe. Don’t be overly nice to people as ‘ you are new to the real world’ but don’t be too closed off either; There is 8 billion people on earth and just as many ways of doing things so be open minded to seeing life through new lenses- without the cult filter blinding you.
Work on reconstructing your life on a regular basis, exploring your values and engaging with the world around you to find your own belief system and a lifestyle that doesn’t mentally restrict you. Seek expert assistance as necessary.
Resources:
Consider life counselling or mentorship programmes to assist you in finding your way.
Join online forums or local cult victim communities to exchange experiences and encourage one another.
Conclusion
Leaving a cult is a brave and difficult undertaking.
You may plan your escape, restore your life, and find your way back to health by following these steps. Remember that you are not alone in your journey, and that there are resources and support networks available to assist you.
Stay strong, stay safe and take care of yourself.